Defining “Conflictual Coparenting”
Ideally, cooperative coparenting would be the goal for any parent when they are parenting their children from two homes, but you may be frustrated because no matter how hard you have been trying to work with the other parent, you just cannot seem to get along with them. If “learning to cooperatively coparent” with the other parent is not working for you, then you need to understand the conflictual coparenting model.
You will need to learn how to actually “disengage” from the other parent in order to stop the fighting. The bad news is that as long as you are trying to work together, you will continue to keep failing at “cooperatively coparenting.” The good news is that you can quit trying so hard to cooperatively coparent and learn instead to “parallel parent.”
The goal of the court professionals, such as judges and mediators is to get you out of the court system and help you end the fighting. If you could learn to stop reacting to the other parent, and stopped engaging in more conflictual activities, then you can start to calm down. You must learn new skills to disengage from the other parent so you can stay focused on the children. You can attend online coparenting courses that are designed to help you learn the skills you will need to disengage from the other parent at www.parentsinconflict.com/lessons to learn more about the different course options.